I know I’ve written before about hope, but to me, more recently it feels increasingly hard to hold onto. Finding the words to describe all that I’m feeling is hard, and trying to be succinct is challenging.

As a young child there was so much promise that the future would be better, that we were moving forward, progressing towards equity, peace, understanding and compassion; with kindness and acceptance for all those that we meet. And yet with each passing day, this feels further and further from the truth.

The people in positions of power and influence are entirely self serving, acting for material gain rather than in the service of others; Accelerating division and inequity amongst various socio-economic groups, with complete disregard for the scale of harm inflicted on the global south, or any other marginalised groups that are suffering as a result.

The stoics say that our individual suffering is a result of worrying about things we can’t control, but it’s the inaction and resignation as a result of this idea that has put us in this position in the first place. Although this might be helpful for me individually, there is a collective suffering that I can no longer ignore. I know that I can’t change the world, but I don’t want to sit around and do nothing either.

The work in my day to day with my employer feels increasingly unimportant; that all I’m doing is lining the pockets of a small number of incredibly wealthy people, and that our values are nothing more than an idea, a smokescreen, to cover the practice of profits over people. The outsourcing of services or work to contractors or vendors as one example is an increasing source of frustration... If the work is truly important, then we should be taking responsibility for it all, and committing to supporting those people that contribute to our success, no matter where they are in the world.

“Diversifying the supply chain, and mitigating risk” is an excuse for these practices I no longer believe. All it does is assign the responsibility for perpetual harm to someone else equally unwilling to find or invest in a solution, in turn impacting those that need our support the most, whether that’s with access to healthcare, education or a stable income.

One area of impact and change that I have the most chance of influencing is within our material recycling supply chain and contributing to our efforts to minimise our impact on the environment, but it doesn’t feel like enough.

The problems we’re facing are bigger than any one person can solve alone, and yet the policymakers (whether in government or business leadership) are unwilling to accept any proposed solutions for meaningful change. Capitalism, and the endless pursuit of, are driving us all at breakneck speed towards the inevitable collapse of life on earth as we know it.

And yet, we’re all trapped by it; Unable to unbuckle our metaphorical seatbelts even though we can see the solid wall hurtling towards us.

It would be wonderful to change career and risk going solo to focus on more meaningful work that benefits wider society, but I have to keep a roof over my head and my body fed. No-one, at least from stories I read is ever willing to listen to (or compensate) the weird, malnourished, homeless vagrant. These kinds of people are continually demonised and shunned throughout all recorded history, despite having arguably the most powerful insight and solutions to problems of their age.

Even if unintended to be forward thinking, a lot of the teachings of those before us are still relevant in the modern age, and we’d do well to start listening to them with urgency.

It’s also possible that everyone has felt (or indeed feels) like this, and that any sensible person would advise me to give up now; to accept things as they are and do what I can to minimise my own suffering. But I can’t. I can’t sleep knowing that corporations and the global elite are enabling and contributing to suffering on a global scale, with no apparent end in sight.

Even without having answers to what a solution might be, I know there is a greater purpose and responsibility we all have to face up to. The time for that, for me at least, is now.

More than anything, I hope that one day all these struggles are relics of the past; that the equitable future I dream of is no longer just that.